Updated: Mar 25, 2022
Until very recently I used to overthink about everything that was minimally important to me. I would overthink about an unfair situation that I would witness, unfair words that I would hear, about something that would hurt me, about the fact that certain things I imaged and expected weren’t happening. I was thinking about million reasons why everything was happening that way: “maybe he doesn’t like me anymore”, “maybe I’m stupid like that person said”… I used to overthink even when I wanted to do something that would create some discomfort. I used to picture how the situation was going to happen and immediately see the outcome. Man! I was the queen of overthinking! Believe me! As a paradox, my highest value is Freedom! So, guess what? By overthinking I was putting a lot of barriers and obstacles on everything I wanted to do! I was holding myself back with thousands of thoughts. I was a prisoner of my own brain. Of course the biggest contributors for all of these thoughts were my insecurities. Fear of being judged, not good enough, not approved by others. And as a prisoner craves for freedom, I started to suffer from all of this! I was sad frequently. I was attracting toxic people and allowing people to hurt me because I was searching for approval. I was reaching the end of the day emotionally and intellectually exhausted. A person has in average 70.000 thoughts a day. I probably tripled that value! So the time came when I realized that all my suffering was being created by myself. I was telling myself that I wasn’t good enough for someone, for some job, even for a hobby that I used to do as a child. I was telling myself that I would seem pathetic if I would go alone to the gym or to a coffee place. I was telling myself that because I didn’t receive a phone call after a certain amount of time, my special one was not interested anymore. And when I realized that I didn’t die because I went to the gym alone and that I could receive the phone call in another day without any negative meaning, I knew I had to do something for my own sake! I wanted to Live! Yearning for Freedom I had to start challenging myself. Every day, almost every hour! I had to contradict my own brain every time a negative thought was coming. I had to learn how to not listen to negativity, to fears, to other people’s opinions. I still contradict thoughts and I believe I will never stop. There is shit being thrown at us all the time. But trust me, it gets easier with time! You just have to start. Not having negative thoughts starts to be automatic. And by practicing gratitude, positivity becomes the brain’s default feature.
Today I’m much more free, lighter and happier with each string I untie.
So I want you to know that IT IS possible to erase those fears and negativity if you REALLY COMMIT on challenging yourself. How?
Remember that the brain is an organ with muscle properties: it can be trained. Like we practice to learn a new language, to play an instrument, to learn every new skill. The begging is slow and tiring, but with practice tasks become easier and when we realize we are mastering a new skill.
Shift your attention when a negative thought starts to form in your brain. If you can’t reformulate that thought in a positive way or can’t completely change to a new and happy thought, change your state. If you are sat, go for a walk. Do some workout, sing a (happy) song or even watch a motivational video.
Choose one time of your day, every day, and empty your mind. Sit in a quiet place that brings you peace and just stay there. Doesn’t matter for how long. Can be 5 minutes, can be half an hour. Let the thoughts come and go. Don’t spend too much time on them. Release them. Focus on your breath. And just be present. The present is all we have. Listen to the birds. The wind. Feel your body. Feel the parts of your body that are touching each other. Feel the arteries on your neck pumping the blood. And breathe.
Practice gratitude. Daily! You can even write a list (seriously!). There are many things in our lives that we should value! Be grateful for being alive, for your children, for having a space you can call home, for your parents. For friendship. For love. For peace.
Gratitude is the key element to bring peace, self-confidence and happiness.
Don’t be your own slave.